I want a friendship like this one.
Michael Caine at the airport, c. 1960s.
“That’s what she said.”
packing has got to be the least enjoyable action ever.
seriously. like the loosest butthole.
regarding tornado warnings in dallas
- older sister: omg. do you guys have a plan?
- younger sister: run around the house flailing my arms.
- me: sit back, drink the last beer, and watch the world burn.